What it's like being married to someone with ADHD?
Partners diagnosed with ADHD share many of the same frustrations as their non-ADHD counterparts. They feel misunderstood and unloved. They get angry when their partners criticize them a lot. They worry when their relationship breaks down because of their disorganization and distractibility.
- Read up. Learning about ADHD can increase your understanding and compassion for your partner. ...
- Make a routine. ...
- Set reminders. ...
- Minimize messes. ...
- Seek clarity.
And still, adults with ADHD are completely capable of happy, fulfilling marriages. All marriages have their ups and downs, but if one or both spouses have ADHD, the relationship is significantly more challenging. Two people, two lives entwined, every day, under one roof…and ADHD.
In rare cases where ADHD is severe or becomes a central issue in the relationship, it could lead to divorce. For starters, if someone has impulse control issues, it could affect their spending habits, which are often a financial stressor in any marriage.
If your spouse has ADHD, the symptoms of the condition may create challenges in your relationship. This can also contribute to stress and burnout. If you're struggling to cope, taking steps to improve your communication can help. Understanding your spouse's condition is also important.
Ari Tuckman, renowned author and ADHD specialist: People with ADHD often feel others are trying to control them. This includes family members, romantic partners, bosses, coworkers and friends.
There are a few reasons why: People with ADHD may find it harder to be intimate with someone due to symptoms such as impulsiveness and being easily distracted. Sex may be less enjoyable for both partners. For the partner with ADHD, they aren't able to fully focus on either the physical or emotional aspects of sex.
Studies have shown that parents of a child with ADHD are more likely to divorce than parents of children without ADHD. A 2014 study in Denmark found that 10 years after the birth of the child, parents of children diagnosed with ADHD had a 75% higher probability of having dissolved their relationship.
More often than not, adults with ADHD struggle in long term relationships and, sadly, over time the chances of divorce increase far more rapidly for those with ADHD in their relationship than for those who don't have it.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder can send your most important relationship off the rails. Distraction, procrastination, and other ADHD symptoms can stir anger, frustration, and hurt feelings for both the person with ADHD and the partner.
What it is like to be a non ADHD spouse?
The non-ADHD partner may often experience:
Being ignored, criticized, and nagged. Being neglected and unwanted. Lonely, offended, hopeless, and unappreciated. Hurtful because of rude and dismissive behavior.
For many people affected by ADHD, key symptoms like inattention, forgetfulness, and disorganization negatively affect their relationships. The partners without ADHD can misinterpret their partners' intentions, resulting in increased frustration and resentment.